“Answering Grief Related Questions, Live with TJ & Taj Jackson” https://youtu.be/U9exGUbmdH4
Good things to say- “I’m here if you need anything” “How can I help you?” “I’m sorry”
- DDJF is being honored by Congressman Brad Sherman for outstanding service to the community, the highest honor under the president!
- Did you know that you can support DDJF while you shop on Amazon at no cost to you? Add DDJF as your selected charity via Amazon Smile: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/chpf/dashboard/ref=smi_nav_surl_mi_x_mkt
- 9:55 1) “ What do you think is the most overused phrase people say to someone grieving? What should I replace it with?”
Good things to say- “I’m here if you need anything” “How can I help you?” “I’m sorry”
- Taj- In social media- if someone wants you to know what happened, they will tell you. If they don’t- give them privacy.
- 16:12 2) “What advice would you give someone feeling alone in their grief?” “Let someone know, don’t be afraid to reach out,” TJ- Access Facebook support groups, DDJF.org, resources online.
- Taj- When a loved one dies- a mother or father, help their children know who their parent was by telling the children memories and stories, pictures. Spread it out over time. Let the children know how much their parent loved them.
- Make sure you are taking time for yourself during the grief of a loved one, take time to detach when you’re helping their family- to make sure you have your own time to process.
- 23:10 3) “Where is the hope after the death of a loved one?” “It’s hard to see at first. It feels like the compass of your life is missing.” “If you have support you know that even though you’re not sure how you’re gonna navigate it- you will get there.” “Make the loved one’s name live on, honor them.” “Hope and purpose are very related.”
- 28:01 4) “Do either of you have any experience of how other cultures deal with death?” “No we haven’t, but there is a strong benefit to you know how other cultures celebrate or deal with death.”
- 30:00 5) “Would either of you write about your experience and how you have dealt with loss and what has helped you get through?” TJ- “I would entertain doing it at sometime, to help others.” Taj “I’d want to do something creative and fun due to it being so painful”
- 32:55 6) “What are the best ways to deal with grief in your experience?” “Having a purpose in life-celebrating that person, doing something in their honor.” Taj: “You’re not alone, and no matter how you’re grieving there’s no correct way to grieve. Don’t beat up yourself, you’re your own person and have your own experience.” TJ: “Try to get emotions out whether that’s talking to a pet, writing a letter, paint, draw, you don’t want to bottle up your emotions and feelings and let them add to each other internally until there’s a moment when it comes out.” “Get out, don’t isolate, utilize nature and the sun. It’s very healing and a very powerful way.”
- 37:20 7) “What ways can I help my husband when he’s struggling? He lost his mom at 31 years old.” Taj- “There is a stigma with men and grief, it’s hard for me to cry..even in today’s climate, there are people that laugh at men that cry. You being a person of support is incredible, and him knowing that you’re there and will always be there if he needs to talk is what matters.” TJ- “Let him know you’ll be there for him and that you’re listening.”
- 42:24 8) “Would you say time heals or it’s just an illusion?“ Taj- “Time helps it hurt less. It’s like a wound that never goes away but you might learn how to live with that wound. The longer you live with that wound you might be able to compensate in certain ways.” TJ- “A significant loss isn’t something that you heal or get over completely. Through time and learning and therapeutic things like therapy or doing things for yourself, there is truth and healing, if it’s done right, time can help you.”
- 47:01 9) “How can I recover from the suicide of my daughter? Is it normal that I blame myself?” Taj “It’s never healthy to blame yourself for something like that, even though it’s a normal/natural human reaction to something.” “ I blamed myself because I was the last person to talk to mom on the phone, before she died. I had to think what mom really wanted me to think about every scenario of how I could’ve changed or would’ve done something. I knew she wanted me to live my best life and that helped me change the way I was thinking.” TJ- “I never felt the blame, but reading several of these comments I know it’s very normal for people to blame themselves.”
“Suicide Prevention Awareness Month”: https://youtu.be/vsLii568Bh0
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month & we want to normalize conversations surrounding this topic in an effort to help #EndTheStigma and educate ourselves & our community as having this knowledge could help save someone’s life.
Article #1: “World Suicide Prevention Day: Warning Signs and Resources For Those in Need” by Renée Onque https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/10/world-suicide-prevention-day-warning-signs-and-resources-.html
Article #2: “September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month; Here’s What You Need to Know” by Aaron Derr https://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2022/09/09/september-is-suicide-prevention-awareness-month-heres-what-you-need-to-know/
Comments to Pay Close Attention To:
Changes like these are signs to look out for:
Some warning signs may indicate if someone you know is at risk for suicide.
They include:
Avoid sayings like:
• “Why would you do that?”
• “Don’t do anything stupid or crazy.”
• “It’s not worth getting upset about.”
• “Things will get better.”
Aim for phrases like:
Resources: • Call 988: 24/7 Suicide Crisis Lifeline 988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988, or chat with them online at any time.
There is also a dedicated number in Spanish: 1-888-628-9454.
International Suicide Hotline Numbers: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
“Creative Grieving: A Hip Chick’s Path from Loss to Hope.” Elizabeth Catignani: Certified Creative Grief Coach, Health Coach, Author: https://youtu.be/C1PJzlg4OAY
After several unexpected losses at the age of 27, she has passionately dedicated her life to helping others experience healing, joy and purpose after loss. She established ‘Her Creative Wellness’, a blog and online platform as a supportive space for women to become empowered on their journey in healing and wellness, from grief to hope. She believes in the transformative power of the human journey and our sacred stories. Through sharing her own story, she hopes to light the way for others seeking a healthy, heart-centered, and fulfilling life.
14:18 “What advice would you give someone that’s experiencing a sudden unexpected loss?” “First of all be very kind to yourself, as we can be our own toughest critics especially when we’re wondering how do we grieve? Give yourself space and acknowledge your pain. Let people you love be there and help you however they are able. Stay hydrated. Give yourself time and space and allow yourself the time to move into grief work.”
Website: www.HerCreativeWellness.com
Instagram: @HerCreativeWellness
Facebook: Her Creative Wellness
Twitter: @HerCWellness
Podcast: Creating Space for Grief & Hope
“The Invisible String”: Patrice Karst & Dr. Dana Wyss, PhD, LMFT, ATR-BC. https://youtu.be/UacvDwccxZQ
Patrice Karst has sold over a million copies of her book, ‘The Invisible String’, and is the co-author of ‘The Invisible String Workbook’. ‘The Invisible String’ book series is teaching the world about the string that even though you can’t see it with your eyes, you can feel it in your heart and know that you are always connected to everyone you love. Patrice has been on a lifelong mission to share the message that the energy called love transcends time and space, and is the most powerful force in all of the universe.
Dr. Dana Wyss, PhD, LMFT, ATR-BC is a licensed marriage and family therapist, board certified clinical art therapist and co-author of ‘The Invisible String Workbook’. Her doctorate in expressive therapies has led her to create programs integrating art, music, poetry, dance and animal assisted therapy in the healing process for clients and the self-care of staff. For the last 20 years, Dr. Wyss has worked in psychiatric hospitals, group homes, and nonpublic school settings to manage crisis, conduct trainings, coach staff, and support children and families.
Website: www.PatriceKarst.com
Instagram: @TheInvisibleStringInsta & @Blue_Girl_Art
Facebook: The Invisible String
Book Available: Amazon
“Grief Support Series”. This episode is Part II: ‘How To Support a Grieving Partner’. https://youtu.be/9_4oER9lumU
Tune in as we dive into an article written by Natalia Lusinski for The Zoe Project entitled, ‘How To Support A Grieving Partner’. https://www.thezoereport.com/wellness/how-to-support-grieving-partner
“Grief Refuge App” with Reid Peterson. https://youtu.be/LhM9X7bdxZw
Reid Peterson, MA is the creator of The Grief Refuge app. Reid achieved a Masters Degree in Transpersonal Psychology (Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, 2007) and is certified in Death & Grief Studies by the Center for Loss & Life Transition. After losing his biological father to suicide in 2006 and his stepfather to cancer in 2016, Reid felt a calling to help the grieving find peace and purpose after loss and thus came the Grief Refuge app.
The Grief Refuge app is best described as: ‘A Compassionate Companion for Your Grief Journey’. The Grief Refuge app is your daily companion to help navigate the grief journey. It provides comfort and solace in a time of need. With 7 features, including daily audio musings and a tool to track your grief progress, it helps you cope with loss and feel supported throughout the journey. Benefits include: • Daily inspiration to help make choices focused on healing. • Soothing voice to help cope and feel comforted. • Beautiful messages filled with compassion and wisdom. • Complete validation for all grief related thoughts and feelings. • Companionship any time, any place.
20:20 “What advice would you have for someone who doesn’t have a clear cause of death?” “What I’ve learned is that there is a power of choice. There is also denial. You could metaphorically beat yourself up or have a dependency on an addiction, or choose to believe you do have control on how you reflect.”
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month & we want to normalize conversations surrounding this topic in an effort to help #EndTheStigma and educate ourselves & our community as having this knowledge could help save someone’s life.
Article #1: “World Suicide Prevention Day: Warning Signs and Resources For Those in Need” by Renée Onque https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/10/world-suicide-prevention-day-warning-signs-and-resources-.html
Article #2: “September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month; Here’s What You Need to Know” by Aaron Derr https://blog.scoutingmagazine.org/2022/09/09/september-is-suicide-prevention-awareness-month-heres-what-you-need-to-know/
Comments to Pay Close Attention To:
- “People would be better off without me.”
- “I wish I were dead.”
- “I can’t take it anymore.”
- “I just can’t go on.”
- “You won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
Changes like these are signs to look out for:
- No longer wanting to hang out with other people
- Quitting sports
- Skipping school, getting lower grades
- Having a more difficult time going to work
- Drinking or using drugs
- Sleeping more or sleeping less
Some warning signs may indicate if someone you know is at risk for suicide.
They include:
- Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Acting anxious or agitated
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves
Avoid sayings like:
• “Why would you do that?”
• “Don’t do anything stupid or crazy.”
• “It’s not worth getting upset about.”
• “Things will get better.”
Aim for phrases like:
- “Is suicide something that you’re telling me you’re thinking about?”
- “I care about you.”
- “I want to understand.”
- “I’m here, and I want to help you.”
- “You are not alone.”
Resources: • Call 988: 24/7 Suicide Crisis Lifeline 988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988, or chat with them online at any time.
There is also a dedicated number in Spanish: 1-888-628-9454.
International Suicide Hotline Numbers: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
“Creative Grieving: A Hip Chick’s Path from Loss to Hope.” Elizabeth Catignani: Certified Creative Grief Coach, Health Coach, Author: https://youtu.be/C1PJzlg4OAY
After several unexpected losses at the age of 27, she has passionately dedicated her life to helping others experience healing, joy and purpose after loss. She established ‘Her Creative Wellness’, a blog and online platform as a supportive space for women to become empowered on their journey in healing and wellness, from grief to hope. She believes in the transformative power of the human journey and our sacred stories. Through sharing her own story, she hopes to light the way for others seeking a healthy, heart-centered, and fulfilling life.
14:18 “What advice would you give someone that’s experiencing a sudden unexpected loss?” “First of all be very kind to yourself, as we can be our own toughest critics especially when we’re wondering how do we grieve? Give yourself space and acknowledge your pain. Let people you love be there and help you however they are able. Stay hydrated. Give yourself time and space and allow yourself the time to move into grief work.”
- “The process of writing was quite therapeutic, as it’s been many years into my healing journey by then. I wanted to bring both sides of grief- it’s heavy and raw and painful, but a paradox of faith and healing and love. I wanted to show people what’s possible, nor matter where you’re coming from.”
- “Writing helped give me a new perspective on my own story.”
- “Be gentle and kind with yourself every day. Do one small thing, like getting a cup of coffee or something that you can enjoy, despite the grief you’re going through.”
Website: www.HerCreativeWellness.com
Instagram: @HerCreativeWellness
Facebook: Her Creative Wellness
Twitter: @HerCWellness
Podcast: Creating Space for Grief & Hope
“The Invisible String”: Patrice Karst & Dr. Dana Wyss, PhD, LMFT, ATR-BC. https://youtu.be/UacvDwccxZQ
Patrice Karst has sold over a million copies of her book, ‘The Invisible String’, and is the co-author of ‘The Invisible String Workbook’. ‘The Invisible String’ book series is teaching the world about the string that even though you can’t see it with your eyes, you can feel it in your heart and know that you are always connected to everyone you love. Patrice has been on a lifelong mission to share the message that the energy called love transcends time and space, and is the most powerful force in all of the universe.
Dr. Dana Wyss, PhD, LMFT, ATR-BC is a licensed marriage and family therapist, board certified clinical art therapist and co-author of ‘The Invisible String Workbook’. Her doctorate in expressive therapies has led her to create programs integrating art, music, poetry, dance and animal assisted therapy in the healing process for clients and the self-care of staff. For the last 20 years, Dr. Wyss has worked in psychiatric hospitals, group homes, and nonpublic school settings to manage crisis, conduct trainings, coach staff, and support children and families.
- “What inspired you to write the book?” “My son just started kindergarten and would cry when I’d leave him in the morning. He had really bad separation anxiety and we would both cry. I told him we had an invisible string connecting us all day, his separation anxiety ended that day.”
- “I wanted children to know this power of love is so incredible and other worldly it can reach loved ones even in the great beyond and in heaven.”
- “This book is for everyone on the planet. It crossed over into the adult world. It reminds us we’re connected and not alone.”
- “The workbook is for children, but I’ve done it with teens, and it can even help adults.”
Website: www.PatriceKarst.com
Instagram: @TheInvisibleStringInsta & @Blue_Girl_Art
Facebook: The Invisible String
Book Available: Amazon
“Grief Support Series”. This episode is Part II: ‘How To Support a Grieving Partner’. https://youtu.be/9_4oER9lumU
Tune in as we dive into an article written by Natalia Lusinski for The Zoe Project entitled, ‘How To Support A Grieving Partner’. https://www.thezoereport.com/wellness/how-to-support-grieving-partner
- Listen- Don’t Feel Pressure to ‘Fix’ or Take Away Their Pain
- Talk About Their Favorite Memories & Celebrate Monumental Occasions
- Identify Support Networks and Resources for *Yourself*
- Be Intentional About Setting Boundaries
- Show Empathy and Grace
- Verbalize Your Support
“Grief Refuge App” with Reid Peterson. https://youtu.be/LhM9X7bdxZw
Reid Peterson, MA is the creator of The Grief Refuge app. Reid achieved a Masters Degree in Transpersonal Psychology (Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, 2007) and is certified in Death & Grief Studies by the Center for Loss & Life Transition. After losing his biological father to suicide in 2006 and his stepfather to cancer in 2016, Reid felt a calling to help the grieving find peace and purpose after loss and thus came the Grief Refuge app.
The Grief Refuge app is best described as: ‘A Compassionate Companion for Your Grief Journey’. The Grief Refuge app is your daily companion to help navigate the grief journey. It provides comfort and solace in a time of need. With 7 features, including daily audio musings and a tool to track your grief progress, it helps you cope with loss and feel supported throughout the journey. Benefits include: • Daily inspiration to help make choices focused on healing. • Soothing voice to help cope and feel comforted. • Beautiful messages filled with compassion and wisdom. • Complete validation for all grief related thoughts and feelings. • Companionship any time, any place.
- “I began to experience anticipatory grief with my stepfather. After he died, I found myself comparing it to how I was grieving my father years before.”
- “When I started listing to my calling, I wanted to help people experiencing deep grief.”
20:20 “What advice would you have for someone who doesn’t have a clear cause of death?” “What I’ve learned is that there is a power of choice. There is also denial. You could metaphorically beat yourself up or have a dependency on an addiction, or choose to believe you do have control on how you reflect.”
- “The Grief Refuge community is to bring people to areas of nature and healing”
- “I wanted to bring nature to the power of healing and calmness”.
- Website: GriefRefuge.com
- Podcast: Grief Refuge
- Instagram: @GriefRefugeApp
- App: Grief Refuge - https://www.griefrefuge.com/app
“This Hallowed Wilderness,” Naila Francis: Author, Grief Coach & Death Midwife: https://youtu.be/Hqr9E_a60Eo
Naila Francis is a writer, grief coach, death midwife and ordained interfaith minister. She holds space and offers ritual for people at many of life's sacred thresholds, including birth, marriage, death and other transitional passages. Her work is often informed by her love of poetry, the gifts of healing rooted in nature and community and her commitment to expanding our grief literacy and death awareness. She is a founding member of Salt Trails, a Philadelphia collective making grief public and visible through community rituals.
For many years, Naila worked as a journalist, interviewing prominent artists from all backgrounds. She found her way to the vocations of companioning others through grief and dying after suffering several personal losses in her own life, including the consecutive deaths of a beloved father figure and her father.
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @thishallowedwilderness
Facebook:
“Grief Coach,” Founder & CEO, Emma Payne: https://youtu.be/-NHJDFrO9mU
Emma Payne is the Founder and CEO of Grief Coach, an innovative service that delivers personalized grief support via text message. Grief Coach combines Emma's passion for mobile technology and engagement, with her deep commitment to providing affordable, accessible, and personal grief support. An MIT graduate and best-selling author who started building online communities before Netscape was born, Emma knows that, while grief is hard, it’s a little easier when we have people by our side
Free Resource - ‘5 Ways To Support A Loved One After A Death: https://grief.coach/5-ways-to-support-a-loved-one-after-a-death/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grief.coach/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/mygriefcoach
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mygriefcoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/griefcoach
“Hope After Grief” Sydney Ford, Esq. : https://youtu.be/5gpe4PpESVs
President of Hope After Grief, Inc., Sydney Ford, Esq. Sydney Ford, Emory graduate, juris doctorate degree. She has been a juvenile defense attorney for the past few years, and followed this path because of the number of grieving children involved in the juvenile justice system. Her article on trauma of juvenile’s in the justice system was published by Northwestern Journal of Criminal Law and Criminology Online. Sydney wrote and published her own children’s book, “Grief Came to Visit Today,” and launched a nonprofit organization called “Hope After Grief Inc.,” that provides scholarships to high school seniors who have had a parent or sibling die.
Sydney lost her dad when she was 10 years old and became an advocate for grieving children at age 16 when she began going into elementary schools and talking to classes about the emotions associated with grief.
Since that time, she has found ways to support grieving children by becoming a board member for the National Alliance for Children’s Grief, becoming a buddy and ambassador for Kate’s Club, and meeting with Senators and the South Carolina Superintendent of Education to advocate for our grieving youth.
Instagram: @HopeAfterGrief
Email: [email protected]
Book: ‘Grief Came To Visit Today’: Grief Came to Visit Today https://a.co/d/jblWhR8
“Music-Based Treatment of Neurodegenerative Diseases” with Dr. Alexander Pantelyat M.D., FAAN: https://youtu.be/sugzoaP5nVM
Dr. Pantelyat is a Ukrainian born, movement disorders neurologist at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, where he directs the Johns Hopkins Atypical Parkinsonism Center and the Johns Hopkins Center for Music and Medicine. Dr. Pantelyat's work is focused on the discovery and validation of diagnostic and prognostic biomarkers for Parkinson’s disorders and on music-based treatment of neurodegenerative diseases. He is a 3rd generation neurologist, who got to help his mom at her lab, when they moved to the USA, in Philadelphia.
“Autism Acceptance Month & Cultivating Traditions After Loss” with Amelia Green:
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCIXinLVvBF744XyijGHY3sQ
Amelia pursued several degrees in Autism, her highest, a Masters of Autism in ABA(Applied Behavioral Analysis), when her young son Alex was diagnosed with Autism. Alex’s complex diagnoses and needs impacted Amelia’s life, her two other children, their community and everyone they encountered/encounter. Alex died in 2021 at the tender age of nearly 14, after bravely fighting seizures for several years. Amelia wakes up daily with the goal to have and promote as much joy and love as Alex did.
“Merin & Her Very Bright STAR” with Lori Mier: https://youtu.be/2Wp3_8vWNYM
Lori is an author, ecotherapist, photographer and advocate. When Lori was only 3 years old she tragically lost her mother and father in a car accident. Lori along with her 4 year old sister were thrown out of the car and spent the night in a ravine, after her parents went down with the car. She bravely used her experience to help others learn how to heal and cope through nature, the stars and positivity.
“Greeting Grief” with Bex Mastin: https://youtu.be/bxIxsz-5D_o
Bex Martin works in Public Health and is a Hospice Volunteer. After her father’s death she decided to start her own greeting card company, in his honor, to provide a space to process emotions and work through grief.
“7 Ways To Treat Yourself with Kindness While Grieving,” @What’s Your Grief: Article by Eleanor Haley, MS https://youtu.be/PXBdaCyGbDo
TJ and Taj Recap: April 1st was Dee Dee’s Birthday! Taj “Mom has been gone more years now than I had with her when she was alive.” (28 years since her passing). “We grieve her most as she’d have been a great grandma to our children.”
“The parole hearing of her murderer was just denied, and this 80+ year old man is painting himself as a victim, therefore it’s more mentally healthy for ourselves and our families to keep him behind bars, than to have him jeopardize the celebrity limelight to tell his story which would open up trauma as well as old and new wounds for our family. We’re thankful to everyone who has been and is supporting us through everything.”
www.whatsyourgrief.com
“Cycle of Lives” with Author David Richman: https://youtu.be/XYgxONI9yBE
David went from being an overweight, sedentary smoker to completing 50+ triathlons. David is a motivational speaker, trainer, consultant and transformation expert.
‘The Death Dialogues Project’: Author Becky Aud-Jennison: https://youtu.be/zblge-DiZqU
Podcast creator, author of ‘Death and its Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Beautiful Lessons’. Becky had a lengthy career in human services, interfacing with death and dying over the past 40 years. It was the deaths of her soul-connect brother and mother within nine months of each other, and facilitating their in-home care and home vigils that lit a fire within her to improve death and grief fluency within our society.
www.DeathDialogues.net
Instagram: @DeathDialoguesProject
Facebook: The Death Dialogues Project
‘Grief Is Love: Living With Loss’, Marisa Renee Lee. https://youtu.be/oTLb_rX-qxM
Former appointee in the Obama White House and writer, advocate, speaker, Marisa Renee Lee says, “Grief requires a degree of vulnerability that America doesn’t freely give Black Americans; you can’t grieve when you can’t breathe. The lack of safety and support is something we must learn to demand to fully heal from our many losses.”
Marisa Renee Lee shows what it looks like to live a full and joyful life after experiencing a life-changing loss. In her book, “Grief Is Love”, she reveals that healing does not mean moving on—healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief, forever. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you lost the person recently or long ago—she shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and she debunks the idea of grief stages or timelines.
www.MarisaReneeLee.com
Instagram: @MarisaReneeLee
Grief Is Love: Living with Loss https://a.co/00KPOPV
‘How Art & Storytelling Can Create Healing From Grief & Loss’: Marlee Bunch & Kevin Hopkins: https://youtu.be/syBzIHJzFt8
Marlee Bunch is a researcher & educator with over 16 years teaching experience in gifted education certification, and ESL certification. Her experiences teaching at the secondary and post-secondary level, have allowed her to write curriculum, supervise teachers, tutor, create workshops, and most importantly mentor and advocate for students. Her research focuses on the oral histories of Black female educators and communities.
Kevin Hopkins is a painter based in Kansas City, Missouri whose work explores the celebration of life and the awareness of his own mortality following the passing of an elder. Currently, he has focused his work on highlighting familial relationships through self-portraiture--or personas extracted from self-portraiture. Kevin now attends the Kansas City Art Institute majoring in Painting and Art History.
Both Marlee and Kevin have experienced loss and death, and experienced healing from mentors, relationships, education & art. Their collaborative work is centered on the premise of empathy, collaborative & created family, and Marlee’s research of Black female educators pre and post integration in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. These women also experienced grief, racial trauma, and loss. However, their stories and Kevin and Marlee’s story, illustrate how healing and joy can occur when we share stories and connect. Marlee and Kevin’s collaboration represents the true nature of ancestry and the Black community. This collaboration is rooted in the desire to capture history, celebrate life and Black joy, bring visual representation to the oral histories of marginalized voices, and honor the maternal presence and mentorship present in this study and our own lives.
Marlee & Kevin collaboration- “Unlearning the Hush.”
Marlee -https://www.marleebunch.com/
Email: [email protected]
Kevin - Instagram: @KevinHopkinsArt
Email: [email protected]
Naila Francis is a writer, grief coach, death midwife and ordained interfaith minister. She holds space and offers ritual for people at many of life's sacred thresholds, including birth, marriage, death and other transitional passages. Her work is often informed by her love of poetry, the gifts of healing rooted in nature and community and her commitment to expanding our grief literacy and death awareness. She is a founding member of Salt Trails, a Philadelphia collective making grief public and visible through community rituals.
For many years, Naila worked as a journalist, interviewing prominent artists from all backgrounds. She found her way to the vocations of companioning others through grief and dying after suffering several personal losses in her own life, including the consecutive deaths of a beloved father figure and her father.
- “I get so much out of helping others, it shifts perspectives in ways I’ve grieved and deepens my compassion and tenderness which I believe grief invites us all to do.”
- “Nature- we are made of nature so reconnecting with that is very grounding.”
- “Sometime if we’re not able to have tears, if we sit by water- sometimes that can activate that.”
- “By connecting and being in nature it can soften grief sometimes, in delight and wonder. It kinda smooths the edges of grief.”
- 13:30 “How would you approach a family member to have them explore healing because it would be something good for them to do for themselves, how would you go about this?” “I often invite people to approach their grief from a place of kindness and curiosity this helps people instead of being combative or afraid.”
- Death midwives/doulas can help with end of life plans, provisions, and education around what constitutes a good death.
- 17:50 “What is the most important advice you can give someone if they are approaching the end of life?” “Having all of your paperwork in order. It’s the most caring and compassionate thing you can do for your loved ones. This helps your loved ones know how to honor your wishes. This frees up the space for your family to do the work of grieving.”
- “Walking the grief journey feels like being in the wilderness. It’s wild it can be dark and there’s so much unknown territory.”
- 32:45 “What advice would you give someone who doesn’t know how to support someone that says they want some time alone while grieving?” “Honor that as much as you can, and also people want time alone because they don’t want people to say the wrong things, all those platitudes that people offer. You can check in and say “Hey it’s been a while, I’m checking in.” And know they may not respond until they’re ready.”
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @thishallowedwilderness
Facebook:
- ‘This Hallowed Wilderness’ - https://m.facebook.com/ThisHallowedWilderness/
- ‘Salt Trails Philly’ - https://m.facebook.com/SaltTrailsPhilly/
“Grief Coach,” Founder & CEO, Emma Payne: https://youtu.be/-NHJDFrO9mU
Emma Payne is the Founder and CEO of Grief Coach, an innovative service that delivers personalized grief support via text message. Grief Coach combines Emma's passion for mobile technology and engagement, with her deep commitment to providing affordable, accessible, and personal grief support. An MIT graduate and best-selling author who started building online communities before Netscape was born, Emma knows that, while grief is hard, it’s a little easier when we have people by our side
- “A dear friend died in 2015, he’d asked me to speak at his funeral, which ended up being a gift. I spent 72 hours hearing people say they wished they’d reached out to me 10 years ago when my husband who died from suicide,, but they didn’t know what to do. On the plane ride home I realized people need help knowing how to reach out to grieving loved ones.”
- “The power of technology can help us help each other to be the best we can be.”
- Grief Coach only takes five minutes to sign up and offers a text messaging grief and loss expertise service, a couple times a week, anniversaries etc., catered around the person who died, cause of death, your age etc., for a full year.
- “My favorite thing is that every time you sign up, you can add in friends and family members, who will get suggestions on how to help the griever.”
- This texting support helps youth and teens get impactful help in a form of media they are comfortable with.
Free Resource - ‘5 Ways To Support A Loved One After A Death: https://grief.coach/5-ways-to-support-a-loved-one-after-a-death/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grief.coach/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/mygriefcoach
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mygriefcoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/griefcoach
“Hope After Grief” Sydney Ford, Esq. : https://youtu.be/5gpe4PpESVs
President of Hope After Grief, Inc., Sydney Ford, Esq. Sydney Ford, Emory graduate, juris doctorate degree. She has been a juvenile defense attorney for the past few years, and followed this path because of the number of grieving children involved in the juvenile justice system. Her article on trauma of juvenile’s in the justice system was published by Northwestern Journal of Criminal Law and Criminology Online. Sydney wrote and published her own children’s book, “Grief Came to Visit Today,” and launched a nonprofit organization called “Hope After Grief Inc.,” that provides scholarships to high school seniors who have had a parent or sibling die.
Sydney lost her dad when she was 10 years old and became an advocate for grieving children at age 16 when she began going into elementary schools and talking to classes about the emotions associated with grief.
Since that time, she has found ways to support grieving children by becoming a board member for the National Alliance for Children’s Grief, becoming a buddy and ambassador for Kate’s Club, and meeting with Senators and the South Carolina Superintendent of Education to advocate for our grieving youth.
- Short discussion around Uvalde, TX school shooting.
- What can we do to fix the guns at school issues? “We create a cycle of trauma when we don’t step in and help those in need: therapy, counseling in schools and communities for free. Resources people need.”
- “Grief is so individualized. Everyone has different experiences and memories with the person who died. There is no right way about it.”
- “What inspired you to become a lawyer?”, “I wanted to help advocate for those who were grieving and needed that specific kind of help.”
- Started Hope After Grief, Inc. to help with scholarship funds to help youth who are grieving, to be able to help them achieve academic dreams.
- “Pie in the sky is to find a full ride scholarship where a grieving teen would not have to worry about the additional worry of student debt.” Recipients have to have lost a parent or sibling, and is available in Georgia and South Carolina. The hope is to expand nation wide.
- TJ’s mentality junior year of high school was sadness, hopelessness after his mother was killed. As a teen it was a sad, despondent and difficult time.
Instagram: @HopeAfterGrief
Email: [email protected]
Book: ‘Grief Came To Visit Today’: Grief Came to Visit Today https://a.co/d/jblWhR8
“Music-Based Treatment of Neurodegenerative Diseases” with Dr. Alexander Pantelyat M.D., FAAN: https://youtu.be/sugzoaP5nVM
Dr. Pantelyat is a Ukrainian born, movement disorders neurologist at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, where he directs the Johns Hopkins Atypical Parkinsonism Center and the Johns Hopkins Center for Music and Medicine. Dr. Pantelyat's work is focused on the discovery and validation of diagnostic and prognostic biomarkers for Parkinson’s disorders and on music-based treatment of neurodegenerative diseases. He is a 3rd generation neurologist, who got to help his mom at her lab, when they moved to the USA, in Philadelphia.
- 10:35 “Parkinsonism” describes what happens to someone who suffers from shaking, could be any body part, usually the hands, muscle stiffness, rigidity, loss of fine motor control and coordination. Not being able to move as quickly as you’d like, changes in posture, stooping, walking.”
- “Dementia isn’t a diagnosis. There are reasons people need help for one or more daily activities- Driving, cooking, finances. Many things cause and co-exist to lead to dementia developing. The inability to do things.”
- “Huntington’s disease- Woody Guthrie. Generic disease that gets generationally passed down, disorder that spans neurology and psychiatry. Changes effect mood, cognitive function, and movement disorders. Devastating disorder that kills from 18 years from the onset of the disease.”
- “None of these diseases above have a cure at this point. We have a lot of work to do in the clinical science and research community.”
- “I truly believe we are discovering ways to help treat these diseases.”
- “Music drumming enhanced the lives of patients, however for things to improve, consistent exercise and drumming practice needs to happen to maintain the benefits”.
- 36:27 “What has been The most challenging part for implementing your music programming?” “Recruitment. Equitable recruitment. To ensure that all community members have access to these trials and programs.”
- “Music speaks to people in a way that regularly talking cannot.”
- “The rhythm itself drives changes in the brains of people with Parkinson’s, which can meaningfully improve walking, balance and potentially prevent falls.”
- 43:45: “What can we do to avoid Alzheimer’s as much as possible?” “Regular exercise. 150 mins a week as a goal. The Mediterranean diet, leafy greens, fish, olive oil. Pick up music, singing, something new to train your brain.” “Brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand, use a fork with your non-dominant hand.” “Listen to music”
- https://thepenngazette.com/the-well-tempered-neurologist/
- https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/neurology_neurosurgery/research/labs/udall_center/team/alexander_pantelyat.html
“Autism Acceptance Month & Cultivating Traditions After Loss” with Amelia Green:
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCIXinLVvBF744XyijGHY3sQ
Amelia pursued several degrees in Autism, her highest, a Masters of Autism in ABA(Applied Behavioral Analysis), when her young son Alex was diagnosed with Autism. Alex’s complex diagnoses and needs impacted Amelia’s life, her two other children, their community and everyone they encountered/encounter. Alex died in 2021 at the tender age of nearly 14, after bravely fighting seizures for several years. Amelia wakes up daily with the goal to have and promote as much joy and love as Alex did.
- “Autism Awareness has changed to Autism Acceptance where community and society at large are becoming more accepting and understanding of how people live daily with Autism.”
- “There is a fine line between seeing the person and saying hello or asking if someone needs help.”
- “Awareness is I see it, Acceptance is I see it and I want it to be part of my world too.”
- 16:27 “What can we do to help someone who has to deal with the pressure of Autism in this world, or to feel better?” “To listen and not respond. Autism is different for everyone. Everyone is unique and beautiful.”
- 18:45 “What did the one year mark look and feel like for you personally?” “I was really purposeful and planning for that day, I booked us a vacation, we took a wild and crazy trip to Florida. On the morning we lost Alex we went to the ocean at sunrise and put some of his ashes in the ocean. We decided to do this every year to bring Alex with us in a safe way.”
- 23:30 “For a parent who has just learned their child has Autism, what advice would you tell them?” “It’s going to be OK, it’s really going to be OK. It’s not gonna be a version of what you picture, but it will be Ok. There is a lot of grief of the dreams for what you had planned. It’s really scary, and that’s ok. It’s really OK to ask for help. Don’t blame any fault on yourself. You have the ability to build a beautiful future for you and your child.”
- 25:51 “What would you tell a teenager who has Autism?” “Please tell your story. So many people wanna hear it. I want to hear you, your peers wanna hear it. I want my children to be better people than I am to help others with disabilities.“
- 28:28 “What is the biggest misconception that the world has on Autism?” “That everyone with Autism is the same way. That everyone is the same like the person with Autism in the movie or on TV is.. It is a beautiful spectrum, a rainbow of the most beautiful people. Do not make any assumptions because you will miss the beauty.”
- “When you take your children to the playground that’s a huge opportunity for inclusion to point out children who are doing things a little bit differently, which helps them with acceptance.”
“Merin & Her Very Bright STAR” with Lori Mier: https://youtu.be/2Wp3_8vWNYM
Lori is an author, ecotherapist, photographer and advocate. When Lori was only 3 years old she tragically lost her mother and father in a car accident. Lori along with her 4 year old sister were thrown out of the car and spent the night in a ravine, after her parents went down with the car. She bravely used her experience to help others learn how to heal and cope through nature, the stars and positivity.
- 11:22: “What has helped you cope with the death of your mom and Uncle Michael?” (To TJ and Taj)
- Through the healing process Lori was able to write a children’s book to help normalize grief and grieving in children.
- “Merin is sad, honest, kind and magical. It’s a story of resiliency.”
- “When we’re dealing with something so heavy, we need closure. No one asked me growing up how I was doing. That led to me daydreaming a lot which led to me writing a book.”
- 20:55 “How do you cope with loss?” “Nature has been helpful as a child all the way into the present. Hold onto friendships and relationships. Merin writes down things that helped her cope.”
- Eco-therapy- “hiking and being outside is healing and allows the natural process to talk, especially for children.”
- “Nature can be healing. We take care of it and it takes care of us.
- 42:16 “Do you have any advice on regret after loss?” Constant rebuilding- give yourself permission to forgive yourself, to take a step back to do something different, to work on being a better person".
- Instagram @grief_project_merin
- https://www.bluemountainpathcoaching.com/shop-1 Merin and the Very Bright STAR book.
“Greeting Grief” with Bex Mastin: https://youtu.be/bxIxsz-5D_o
Bex Martin works in Public Health and is a Hospice Volunteer. After her father’s death she decided to start her own greeting card company, in his honor, to provide a space to process emotions and work through grief.
- “Most greeting cards are written in present tense, nothing out there said “You were a great Dad and I miss you!”
- Bex’s motivation to launch her greeting card line, despite her fear stemmed from the connections she’s formed with other grievers, as these cards validate the feelings and emotions of what marking milestones of those we love and miss entails.
- The greeting cards provide a platform to have a time capsule of events that the dearly departed has missed from year to year, “Happy Father’s Day, Dad! This year I started a new job, etc.”
- Bex’s goal is for those struggling yo be able to come to the website, to see themselves and what they’re going through reflected in the cards
- “Just because your loved one died, doesn’t mean the love and relationship died.”
- www.Greeting-Grief.com
- Instagram @GreetingGrief
- [email protected]
“7 Ways To Treat Yourself with Kindness While Grieving,” @What’s Your Grief: Article by Eleanor Haley, MS https://youtu.be/PXBdaCyGbDo
TJ and Taj Recap: April 1st was Dee Dee’s Birthday! Taj “Mom has been gone more years now than I had with her when she was alive.” (28 years since her passing). “We grieve her most as she’d have been a great grandma to our children.”
“The parole hearing of her murderer was just denied, and this 80+ year old man is painting himself as a victim, therefore it’s more mentally healthy for ourselves and our families to keep him behind bars, than to have him jeopardize the celebrity limelight to tell his story which would open up trauma as well as old and new wounds for our family. We’re thankful to everyone who has been and is supporting us through everything.”
www.whatsyourgrief.com
- Don’t compare (yourself to others or your expectations about grief)
- Accept that a wide range of emotional, physical and cognitive experiences are normal in grief
- Give distressing emotions and experiences the time and attention they need.
- Ask for help/accept help
- Focus on basic needs like breathing, sleeping, eating, connecting and caring
- Give yourself a break.
- Love the person who died unapologetically
“Cycle of Lives” with Author David Richman: https://youtu.be/XYgxONI9yBE
David went from being an overweight, sedentary smoker to completing 50+ triathlons. David is a motivational speaker, trainer, consultant and transformation expert.
- “Transformation comes out of grief,” David bravely left an abusive relationship to protected himself and his 4 year old twins, at the same time his sister was facing terminal cancer.
- A turning point for David was when a friend said to him, “Stop fixing everyone’s problem and focus on yourself in the mirror”.
- “I learned a lot of lessons in life, but not how to apply them to myself.”
- “If you can live and be at peace that life is going to be hard, you can work through things. When you accept that, it’s not as hard.”
- “You never know how what someone’s dealt with 5 minutes or 20 years ago. Learn how to connect authentically.”
- David’s Book: “Cycle of Lives: 15 People’s Stories, 5,000 Miles and a Journey Through the Emotional Chaos of Cancer.”
- www.cycleoflives.org
‘The Death Dialogues Project’: Author Becky Aud-Jennison: https://youtu.be/zblge-DiZqU
Podcast creator, author of ‘Death and its Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Beautiful Lessons’. Becky had a lengthy career in human services, interfacing with death and dying over the past 40 years. It was the deaths of her soul-connect brother and mother within nine months of each other, and facilitating their in-home care and home vigils that lit a fire within her to improve death and grief fluency within our society.
- Lost Soul Connect Brother and mother within a few months. “This brother was more than a father than our abusive father ever could, which morphed into a best friend relationship.”
- Writing her book, “People we’re always encouraging me to write, I’d written before and I wanted to right the way of my story and the second part would be lessons. this was based on my 40 year career of working with people through death, being at the bedside and I wanted these different perspectives.”
- “This book came from hearing stories over and over with commonalities yet with every situation grief is unique as the human”
- 22:33 “What do you mean by beautiful lessons in grief?” “ I never want to negate that grief it’s not wrenching or horrible, there are situations were beautiful cannot make sense. What is beautiful is what you’re doing out of that loss. That is where the magic and the beautiful horrible is coming out of it.”
- “Why do we mask or try to hide from grief?” “Because we know it effing hurts. We know that it’s ugly and it’s a form of self protection.”
- What can listeners expect on the podcast? “Stories of people who have been through grief that can have open discussions about it. It’s all based on other’s stories.”
- “What advice might you give someone who is hesitant to share their story or what capacity to share it in?” “ If you hear little nudges and whispers in your ears, that will help you know when it’s time to share.”
- “Know that what you’re sharing is your story, and any of the naysayers or people that may not understand, it doesn’t matter because it’s your story and you can always block them or delete the comment.”
- “My goal is for people to find love within the process of grief.”
www.DeathDialogues.net
Instagram: @DeathDialoguesProject
Facebook: The Death Dialogues Project
‘Grief Is Love: Living With Loss’, Marisa Renee Lee. https://youtu.be/oTLb_rX-qxM
Former appointee in the Obama White House and writer, advocate, speaker, Marisa Renee Lee says, “Grief requires a degree of vulnerability that America doesn’t freely give Black Americans; you can’t grieve when you can’t breathe. The lack of safety and support is something we must learn to demand to fully heal from our many losses.”
Marisa Renee Lee shows what it looks like to live a full and joyful life after experiencing a life-changing loss. In her book, “Grief Is Love”, she reveals that healing does not mean moving on—healing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief, forever. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you lost the person recently or long ago—she shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and she debunks the idea of grief stages or timelines.
- “I decided to write a book in 2008, six months after my mom died. I thought all the spreadsheets and books and things that I read and her wishes would make things easier when the actual loss came but it did not. It was like I’d been hit by a truck. I felt like there must’ve been something wrong with me because I knew this was coming, and I was so sad. One day I just realized when I hit a wall that there was nothing wrong with me.“
- “I wanted to write a book that would tell the truth about what grief and loss is that’s not super sad and depressing.”
- “We don’t normalize these challenges and difficult moments, like grief, and working on our mental health, we still view a lot of those things as things to be kind of hidden, but these are normal experiences that need to be talked about and processed.”
- “What is the biggest thing you learned about yourself through writing this, and did your grief change after writing this?” “ One big thing that I struggled with was realizing I was mad at my mom. I was mad that she died and I was mad that I had all this grief. You really have to believe in yourself first before you take it in writing a book or a podcast or a show.”
- “ What you’re feeling today is important, and normal and whatever is destroying you today and devastating you, it is OK to feel that way.”
- “ When we acknowledge grief in those feelings they do not have power over us.”
www.MarisaReneeLee.com
Instagram: @MarisaReneeLee
Grief Is Love: Living with Loss https://a.co/00KPOPV
‘How Art & Storytelling Can Create Healing From Grief & Loss’: Marlee Bunch & Kevin Hopkins: https://youtu.be/syBzIHJzFt8
Marlee Bunch is a researcher & educator with over 16 years teaching experience in gifted education certification, and ESL certification. Her experiences teaching at the secondary and post-secondary level, have allowed her to write curriculum, supervise teachers, tutor, create workshops, and most importantly mentor and advocate for students. Her research focuses on the oral histories of Black female educators and communities.
Kevin Hopkins is a painter based in Kansas City, Missouri whose work explores the celebration of life and the awareness of his own mortality following the passing of an elder. Currently, he has focused his work on highlighting familial relationships through self-portraiture--or personas extracted from self-portraiture. Kevin now attends the Kansas City Art Institute majoring in Painting and Art History.
Both Marlee and Kevin have experienced loss and death, and experienced healing from mentors, relationships, education & art. Their collaborative work is centered on the premise of empathy, collaborative & created family, and Marlee’s research of Black female educators pre and post integration in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. These women also experienced grief, racial trauma, and loss. However, their stories and Kevin and Marlee’s story, illustrate how healing and joy can occur when we share stories and connect. Marlee and Kevin’s collaboration represents the true nature of ancestry and the Black community. This collaboration is rooted in the desire to capture history, celebrate life and Black joy, bring visual representation to the oral histories of marginalized voices, and honor the maternal presence and mentorship present in this study and our own lives.
- 9:50 “How has art and community helped you heal?” Marlee- “I bought Kevin’s art and asked him if he’d want to collaborate to help tell the story of generational loss and healing.” Marlee- “I wasn’t able to have generational talks with my family during my loss.” Kevin, “When my mom died in 2020, I was able to turn to family as we all lost my mom.” Marlee and Kevin are working together to help share stories and what they learn have learned.
- 15:20 “ Why do you think that sharing stories and connecting with others in regards to grief, can be beneficial to the healing process?” Marlee-“ When we are experience a loss we are always kind of living in the past, I am always afraid to lose those memories so I think I look in the rear view mirrors. I was kind of overlooking the side mirrors, where there is rich and supportive ancestral history.”
- “The stories I was found were so resilient and embraced community and the idea of collaboration and how to move through loss and grief collectively.” Marlee
- 19:08 Kevin- “How has art helped you navigate your loss?” “As I was creating, I was making paintings of my mother but I couldn’t finish them, I think it was a form of escapism. Overtime when I was being reacquainted with my siblings and family, painting shifted into more joyful creations of some of my favorite memories.” ”I had to decide to paint purposefully in a way to actually reflect the things I was about.”
- “Learning from elders allows us to fill in gaps in our history.” Taj
- Journaling, painting, drawing, music, allows us to work through grief.
- When we share stories we often find we have so many similarities, that can be empowering and life changing.
- “We are all connected in an art space whether we had knowledge or not. There is an art compassion and art to sympathy.” Kevin
- “I learned I also need to let go of some things. I had a feeling of responsibility or what could I have done better to make a family member someone’s life better?,. Doing the show and working on this art helped me work on letting that go because we are here for such a finite amount.” Kevin
Marlee & Kevin collaboration- “Unlearning the Hush.”
Marlee -https://www.marleebunch.com/
Email: [email protected]
Kevin - Instagram: @KevinHopkinsArt
Email: [email protected]